November 12, 2004

• sometimes -- just sometimes -- i envy people who can truly believe
  in something intangible. i envy people who can have faith in that which
  cannot be proved exists. i envy the strength they draw from leaning on "the powers above," and i am genuinely moved by their words proclaiming the love they have for a being they "know" loves them regardless of anything.

  ..and then i hear/see/read/am otherwise affected by people who insist
  that because i am unable to give into what i believe is a weakness, i'm
  going straight to hell; people who are adamant that, because i am
  incredulous, and skeptical, and doubtful, i am ignorant and need to be
  "educated" in the awesome power that is "god"; people who simply must press their views of religion on me, despite the fact that i am cleary not interested in what they have to say.. and i'm reminded of exactly why i'm grateful that i'm not
  a religious zealot (because a: they're annoying; b: i know myself well
  enough to know that i'd be just like them if i were a believer, rather
  than like the people that invoke a sense of awe and envy; and c:
  they're annoying)

  <rambling>
  ~_~ i had such an articulate entry planned out.. so many points to
  make, examples to give.. but then i realized it'd be a waste of time on
  my part, since the majority of people who read xanga entries have the
  attention span of a goldfish and anything with a length greater than 3
  lines with no breaks is tossed away as too long of a read to bother
  with. if anyone is [cue gasps of shock] interested, i'll protected post
  the monster of an essay of an entry someday. eventually.
  </rambling>

  • 12:25 am
  • 7 Comments